Awards!

July 19, 2010 § Leave a comment

And now, the Twisted Blood awards (with apologies to the far superior The Fiver) …. drum roll, please!

Bay Of Pigs Award For Failed Coup D’Etat: John Terry. Captain. Leader. Idiot.

Nick Clegg Award For Rash Campaign Promise: Carlos “If Argentina win the World Cup whoever scores the winning goal will be permitted to take me from behind” Bilardo.

Ali Dia Award For Impersonation Of An Footballer: Jointly awarded to Glen Johnson and Sidney Govou. Never darken this illustrious tournament again!

Why Are The Remaking The Karate Kid Is Nothing Sacred Wax Off The Lot Of You Award For Foul Of The Tournament: Nigel de Jong. Poor Xabi Alonso. Why do people keep kicking him? Sergio Ramos is only a few yards away.

Marco Tardelli Award For Services To Goal Celebration: Milan Jovanovic. Don’t jump in the – oh.

Team Of The Tournament (playing an ultra-fashionable 4-2-3-1, but in a positive way):

Enyeama; Coentrao, Pique, Lugano (c), Maicon; Schweinsteiger, Boateng; Iniesta, Sneijder, Mueller; Forlan

Manager: Marcelo Bielsa

Mascot, Cheerleader, All-Round Good Egg And Hero To Everyone: Diego Maradona

This concludes our coverage of the World Cup. Witterings in anticipation of the new season will appear shortly. In the mean time, here’s the greatest goal of all time for your delectation. Toodles!

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