Back-up goalkeepers

September 16, 2013 § Leave a comment

Last week, I asked Twitter to nominate their favourite back-up goalkeepers. Here are the complete results:

  • Raimond van der Gouw (15 votes)
  • Pegguy Arphexad (13)
  • Stuart Taylor (9)
  • Alex Manninger (6)
  • Carlo Nash (5)
  • Hilario
  • Steve Harper (4)
  • Carlo Cudicini
  • Jose Manuel Pinto (3)
  • Mike Harper
  • Nigel Spink
  • Rami Shaaban
  • Ross Turnbull
  • Iker Casillas
  • Tony Warner
  • Ruud Boffin (2)
  • Espen Baardsen
  • Mark Beeney
  • Jeroen Verhoeven
  • Mike Pollitt
  • Brad Jones
  • John O’Shea
  • Vince Bartram
  • Bobby Mimms (1)
  • Mark Schwarzer
  • Roy Carroll
  • Aidan Davidson
  • David Stockdale
  • Dmitri Kharine
  • Mark Bosnich
  • Ricardo
  • Michael Oakes
  • Tommy Wright
  • Ian Andrews
  • John Smuelders
  • Barry Roche
  • Chris Woods
  • Nicolas Douchez
  • Steve Ogrizovic
  • Tony Warner
  • Dave Beasant
  • Tomasz Kuszczak
  • Brad Friedel
  • John Burridge
  • Les Sealey
  • Mark Bunn
  • Ian Walker
  • Tim Flowers
  • Lenny Pidgeley
  • Michael Stensgaard
  • Jason Kearton
  • Ben Roberts
  • Kevin Poole
  • Brad Guzan
  • Phil Jagielka
  • Charles Itandje
  • Paul Heald
  • Chris Adamson
  • Clive Barker
  • Jurgen Macho
  • Morten Hyldgaard
  • Karl Pilkington
  • Heurelho Gomes
  • Luca Marchegiani
  • Kevin Hitchcock
  • John Lukic
  • Bob Bolder
  • Gary Peyton
  • Anders Lindegaard
  • Boaz Myhill
  • Steve Simonson
  • Thomas Myhre

Note: I haven’t yet checked that these are all real goalkeepers.

Joe Kinnear: Fact-checking

June 18, 2013 § 3 Comments

[Transcript nicked from the Guardian]

Talksport: Good evening Joe Kinnear. How are you?

JK: Yeah, I’m fine.

[discussion of delay in signing contract]

Talksport: […] Reaction has been negative from the fans. Has that been a surprise?

JK: Yeah but it’s only a certain section. It was exactly the same when I got there. […] But the trouble is that there are a lot of Geordies up there who are influenced and upset and the fact is that because I stood up to about 100 journalists that night – you know, it was the night we beat Tottenham 2-1 and I suppose the journalists always had it in it.

Precise attendance figures for post-match press conferences are sadly unavailable (though will doubtless be rising soon). However, and while I’m happy to be corrected, “about 100” seems a lot. Also, as Simon Bird points out the Mirror, if this is a reference to the notorious “You’re a cunt” rant, then that happened on a Thursday night. Newcastle had lost the previous weekend. « Read the rest of this entry »

BREAKING: Rafa Benitez to take over at Liverpool, Chelsea

May 21, 2013 § Leave a comment

In a move that will shake the foundations of English football to the very … er, foundations, Liverpool and Chelsea have announced that next season they will both be coached by Rafael Benitez. « Read the rest of this entry »

Then he clanks around like a euphemism

May 20, 2013 § Leave a comment

A friend recently pointed me toward the Bonsai Story Tree Generator, a widget for turning coherent text into nonsense, or near-nonsense. It’s quite fun. Anyway, said friend fed in a few of the profiles I’ve been writing for Football 365, and the machine spat out the following:

—–

It was enough to pronounce Toni Kroos’s surname.

The first, Mr Anthony Pulis, is a man of hidden and shiny shoes, makes jokes with that last sounds an English Yaya Toure!
Really!

He’s got round to say that he is given ample opportunity to keep him some good, but joyous, which I’m largely indifferent, just so when the time Such is Bramble’s tragicomedy.

He is not much to get moved out of the consistency to see the country. « Read the rest of this entry »

The many names of Joleon Lescott

February 28, 2012 § 9 Comments

Joleon Lescott

This afternoon, as I was gazing idly at Joleon Lescott’s name on my computer screen, I noticed that you can nearly break his name into four complete, separate names: Jo, Leon, Les, and Scott, with just a tiny overlap on the last one. I then noticed that you could also get Leo, and Ole, and proudly told Twitter that I thought six names might be some kind of record, assuming you disallowed (a) surnames, (b) anagrams/moving of letters, and (c) names that were part of the actual name, like “Joleon” itself. « Read the rest of this entry »

Orange crush

February 22, 2012 § Leave a comment

Thanks to Steve @miniboro_dotcom.

One By One: Grand Tour

February 14, 2012 § 1 Comment

European flags

So the Champions League is back. Are you excited? A bit? Yeah, me too. The football’s decent, though there is the ever-present sense that it’s all a charade, played out to line the pockets of men that are already insensitively rich. Plus, Heineken’s shite. « Read the rest of this entry »

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